


Everything Wrong With: Ace Attorney: Justice For All

by PierceTheVeils



Series: Everything Wrong With: The Ace Attorney Games [2]
Category: CinemaSins, 逆転裁判 | Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
Genre: CInemaSins is amazing, Dirty Jokes, Gen, Humor, I don't swear this much in real life, Non-Serious Game Reviews, Oh my gosh I have no life, Promise, Series Spoilers, fifth of these babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-03-08 09:39:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13455549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PierceTheVeils/pseuds/PierceTheVeils
Summary: No video game is without sin.





	1. Everything Wrong With: The Lost Turnabout

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers... duh.

(Toccata and Fugue in D Minor plays) "Tragic misuse of a literal classic." *ding

"Creepy nightmare judge is creepy." *ding

(cutting to Phoenix in the defendant lobby) "Game fakes you out into thinking it isn't going to show you who the culprit is, then shows you the culprit anyway." *ding

(Wellington's face on a black screen) "This closeup." *ding

"If Phoenix was sleeping in the defendant lobby on the couch we normally see in the game, how did the bailiffs not see Wellington assault Phoenix? We can assume they've been here the whole time, right? Are they just statues disguised as bailiffs? Were they too asleep? This is never explained." *ding

"Phoenix is hit with a fire extinguisher and shows signs of a concussion, and literally no one cares. Not even when he gets to court and tries to reveal he has amnesia." *ding

"Phoenix was assaulted in the courthouse and is suffering from temporary amnesia, but they can't delay the trial while he gets medical attention or find a substitute attorney... why, again?" *ding

(Maggey: People are at their best first thing in the morning!) "No they are not." *ding

"Why would all the other lawyers laugh Maggey off? Her case isn't  _that_  hard." *ding

(In court) "Phoenix tries to tell everyone he has amnesia, and the judge's response is to admonish him." *ding

"Maggey goes out of her way to deny having sex with Dustin, but we never find out why." *ding

"Game gives no fucks that the defendant is standing on the defense bench here, even though she isn't representing herself, but gets all riled up in later games when Phoenix and Athena do it nine and ten years later. What's changed from now to then?" *ding

"Maggey is on trial for murder, and they put her former trainer/boss in charge of investigating her case. Just because conflict of interest doesn't exist in this universe does not mean that I won't sin the obvious conflict of interest." *ding

"Judge talks about a preliminary hearing here, but the series never mentions them again. Why is that?" *ding

(Maggey acts as our tutorial guide) "Maggey goes from angry to helpful so fast, I got whiplash." *ding

"Gumshoe trained Maggey when she first became a police officer, self identifies as her boss, and is later confirmed to have a crush on her, but can't recognize when her name is misspelled. Neither can anyone else, apparently. I get this is an easy contradiction to start the game with, but how is Phoenix the first one to notice it?" *ding

"Dustin Prince has no pupils. This disturbs me more than it should." *ding

"Also, 'I identified my attacker before dying' cliche. To be fair, this is only the second time the series has used it (third, if we're including Rise from the Ashes), but what is it with killers using these things?" *ding

("How about that? I didn't even noticed!") "Game gets an early start on fucking up spelling and grammar in this game. Since they got started so early, I'll sin it early on too. Consider this a blanket sin for all such errors in the first three cases of the game." *ding

"Maggey and Dustin were talking about marriage after only six months of dating. Rushing it much?" *ding

("Marriage? But wasn't the victim eight years older than her?" "What!? You saying a guy's gotta marry the someone the same age as himself, pal!? ...Mind your own business!") "Game shares its opinion about age gap relationships in this trial. Is this supposed to be meta or foreshadowing for the third episode? I can never be sure on this one." *ding

"In an unusually perceptive move, His Honor calls Gumshoe out for having a crush on the defendant. Nevertheless, he is still considered the best person to be giving testimony against her on behalf of the police department. For some reason." *ding

"If Dustin Prince was a leftie, shouldn't all his friends on the force know this? Is it not public record among the police? Why is no one suspicious he used his non-dominant hand to write so neatly while  _dying_?" *ding

"Three years before Ema Skye was created as a character, Gumshoe loved to brag about scientific investigation. I'd love for this to be a reference, and chronologically in-universe, it could be, but alas." *ding

(Maggey doesn't outright tell Phoenix her boyfriend was left handed) "Co-counsel is vague to put pressure on the player cliche." *ding

(Payne objects, then stutters) "Frivolous Objection cliche." *ding

"Payne forgets he has another witness to the crime until literally a second before a verdict is called. In related news, I think I might know why he's the tutorial prosecutor for this series." *ding

(In recess) "Maggey's response to Phoenix being hit on the head and given amnesia is to... kick him in the head and potentially concuss him a second time. Who let this woman be a cop? And  _why_?!" *ding

"Maya Fey." *removes a sin

(Richard Wellington) "This guy's eye makeup." *ding

"Also, this guy. In a game that features the reappearance of Wendy Oldbag, who thought the game also needed a young male version of her? His rants are abundant, not even remotely funny, and all he does is insult the people around him. Not only is it annoying, but also oddly boring." *three sins (I'd give more, but he doesn't recur as a character)

(One of the joke options is to claim Mr Wellington "loves big bananas!") "Some jokes are funny." *removes a sin

(Wellington's damage animation is him strangling himself) "Well, that's  _one_  way to make him be quiet. I can't honestly say I'm opposed to this." *ding

"Wellington felt the need to report his murder to the police and serve as the key witness to his own crime for no discernible benefit. If he hadn't tried to frame Maggey, it's entirely possible he would have gotten away with everything. Culprit foils their own plot." *ding

"Gumshoe claims he graduated from a top-ranked college, but his salary is so low, he can barely afford basic necessities. How are student loans not killing him?" *ding

"Hey, what was Maggey doing after her boyfriend fell? Did she not see Wellington do any of this? She still had her glasses at this point, and she wasn't reporting his death to the police. Was she too hit over the head and given amnesia about what happened that evening? This is never explained." *ding

"Wellington spent fifteen minutes trying to find his glasses. And in those fifteen minutes, absolutely no one walked by and felt the need to do anything about the dead body, call the police, or even question the guy running around frantically nearby." *ding

"This Pursuit theme. Is this gonna be the first review where I don't remove a sin?" *ding

(Proving Wellington had heard Maggey's name) "And in the end, the move that saves the defendant's freedom... is the stereotypical white girl alternate spelling of her name. If Maggey had normal parents, she would have been fucked." *ding

"Also, in the second case of the first game and the first case of the second game, the piece of evidence that ultimately does the stereotypical rich brat of a culprit in... is a list of names. Coincidence?" *ding

"Judge calls Payne out on having reused dialogue. I understand this case is shitty, but that is no reason to slack on effort. And why call out your own laziness to begin with?" *ding

"Wellington tries to have a cool breakdown where he laughs maniacally. It fails miserably." *ding

(Wellington tries to argue the phone isn't his) "Is Wellington the only person in the world to not store personal information in his phone? Unless this was a burner he was intentionally using to keep his criminal life separate (a move that is way too smart for this culprit), it should say who he is somewhere. Why doesn't Phoenix try that?" *ding

"Phoenix's shocked animation has no pupils. I forgot to sin it last game, but even so: this bothers me more than it should." *ding

"How did Wellington call his own phone to discover Phoenix had it? There's no other phone in this shot!" *ding

"Game does the dramatic 'pan between the characters after an interjection' even if you already know who interjected. So what was the point?" *ding

(Phoenix presents his business card) "Judge says he's going to give us one of his business cards, but hands Phoenix the exact card Phoenix gave him. Does the game think because the writing is illegible that I can't tell they aren't the same? I think the game genuinely believes that." *ding

"Stupid as the culprit is, the final nail in his coffin is that he and Phoenix have the same model cell phone. If either man had any other, or even a different color like Maya, Wellington couldn't have fucked up like this and Phoenix would have lost the case. After all, it doesn't take a smart criminal to get away with shit. Just some really lucky circumstances." *ding

"Game plays Toccata and Fugue at the same time as its Court theme. Those songs sound terrible together." *ding

"One and a half hour trial gameplay (assuming you press every statement before pointing out contradictions  _and_  including recesses and cutscenes) somehow took over four hours. I guess this game learned nothing from its prequel?" *ding

"Maggey's terrible life." *ding

"Hey, this is the first case Phoenix ever solves without a mentor ex machina! I guess I forgot this case when I said he can't do anything in the trilogy without Mia. Maybe I hit my head, too." *sin on me for inaccuracy

"Phoenix gets his memory back, but still can't remember who Winston Payne is. Poor guy." *ding

"Ending narration." *ding

**Total Sin Tally: 52**

**Sentence: Erotic Asphyxiation**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N's: Funny story about this case. For the longest time, all I could remember about this episode was the bananas line and amnesia plotline, so I got it in my head this case was named 'The Forgotten Turnabout'. Imagine my confusion when I got to AAI2 and believed there were two episodes with the same name.
> 
> This turnabout wasn't offensively bad (not like how some view Big Top), but it was so forgettable that I didn't even remember its name. I wish this game lost this particular turnabout (all it does series-wise is introduce Maggey. They could add a few lines to Recipe for Turnabout introducing her character and no one would be worse off), but then JFA would only have three cases. Ah well.
> 
> I wasn't too invested here, but I hope everyone enjoyed my review anyway. The sooner I get through this case and the next two, the sooner I get to the part everyone's actually looking forward to. But until then, thanks for reading, don't forget to review, and I'll see you on the far side!


	2. Everything Wrong With: Reunion and Turnabout

"My first Ace Attorney case ever. Opening takes me back to 2012 every time." *starts with a negative one sin count

"Also, this opening. The animation isn't great, but the dialogue and the way the music hits as soon as we see Mimi... I swear. If this case wasn't one more in the line of the 'Maya gets accused of murders' trope, and that wasn't made clear from the outset, I would remove another sin." *no sin

"Speaking of, Maya gets accused of murder... well, it's not a cliche yet, but it is the second time in as many games. Considering she also gets kidnapped in the finale, you'd think the game would go easy on her until then." *ding

(Gameplay starts) "Turner Grey." *ding

"Also, Turner Grey's glasses. You'd think a man rich enough for a $1500 suit could afford a pair that fits, and apparently, you'd be wrong." *ding

"Grey claims it's raining outside, but outside the window, the skies are a clear blue. Was it that hard to change the color for  _one_  scene?" *ding

("Smash! Crunch! Instantly transforming her car into the accordion model!") "Some puns are clever." *no sin

"Maya says she has to work hard to be strong until she's an adult, but um... she's already eighteen in this game. By legal standards, she  _is_ an adult. I'm not telling her to start slacking off, but-" *ding

("Oh come on Nick! I wouldn't take a crazed killer as a client!") "But you  _will_  channel one." *ding

"Let's just talk about Grey's plan for a second: He thinks if he hires a medium to channel a girl he indirectly caused the death of, she'll sign a confession claiming she murdered fourteen people in life... just because he asked her to. Even if you ignore the stupidity of the victim walking into his own murder trap, what does he think that confession is going to do? After DL-6, the courts and much of society as a whole were convinced spirit channeling was a fraud. I highly doubt they accept signed confessions from dead people. All this would prove to the world is that he's crazy and can't move on. Not unlike another surgeon character in this series, now that I think about it." *ding

"You can take occult classes in college? That wasn't in  _my_ course catalog!" *ding

"Morgan Fey's hair." *ding

"Also, Morgan Fey." *ten sins

(The Winding Way) "Phoenix claims the garden is beautiful, but we can't see it." *ding

("Please have some lovely bitter green tea and jaw-droppingly large strawberry desserts...") "What does Morgan have against her own brewing/baking? That's never explained." *ding

"Takumi takes the time to mock passive-aggressive housewives in this scene." *ding

(The murder occurs) "Phoenix has the option of wasting time at the scene of an ongoing murder." *ding

"Why doesn't Kurain have a local police force? They're two hours out from the city, and we don't know about any other towns nearby. Why doesn't the village have officers on hand for scenarios just like this? I feel like this is against regulation somewhere." *ding

"What was Gumshoe's business trip that got him out here within a few minute's distance of Kurain? And if he was on a business trip, why would he then be called in on a case? Is Takumi just that against creating a second detective character? I love Gumshoe too, but this whole scenario is contrived at best." *ding

(Meeting "Ini" Miney) "This fake persona." *five sins

"Miney says Grey approached  _her_  about finding a spirit medium so he could nail (who he believes is) her big sister down for killing fourteen people.  _Why_  would he ask her, of all people? This is ultimately what gets this guy murdered, and I the game doesn't even try to explain how Grey thought this wouldn't end badly. I can only conclude this guy is a complete idiot." *ding

"No matter what you say to Pearl, it all ends the same way: she runs away and Phoenix questions his hairstyle choices. This is funny once. Not three times." *ding

(Visiting Maya in detention) "Recapping events from the last game." *ding

(Maya insists Phoenix will have a guilty client and lose his case) "Sorry, Maya. You're about two cases too early to be making  _that_  claim." *ding

"Maya gives us the Magatama, but she can't put energy in for us. Why not?" *ding

(Back in Kurain) "Entirely too many flashbacks to yesterday's investigation. In game time, they all happened thirty minutes ago  _at most_." *ding

"What did Maya say about Phoenix that convinced Pearl they were in love? Why didn't we get that as a flashback scene?" *ding

"Also... Pearl Fey, everybody." *removes one sin for now

"If Pearl doesn't know what lawyers are, what does she think Mia did with her life? Pearl was seven when Mia died, so she would have known and had memories of her, right? Did Mia never tell her? Why is this a thing?" *ding

"Gumshoe's first reaction to seeing a child... Is to show her his gun. Considering the problems America has been having with guns in the hands of children, is that really a good idea?" *ding

"Phoenix takes the two hour train ride from Kurain to his office _and back_  solely to show Gumshoe a newspaper article. Considering the trial is tomorrow, this is a colossal waste of time." *ding

"Why does Gumshoe go out of his way to keep Franziska's gender ambiguous? Was it supposed to be a twist? Why would players be surprised by female prosecutors existing in 2017? Or 2002, for that matter." *ding

"We interrupt your regularly scheduled murder mystery to bring you... A 'come to Germany' ad. Apparently in the Japanese version, this was America." *ding

"Edgeworth's supposed death. I knew nothing of the first game or its characters the first time I experienced this case, and by the time I did, I also knew Edgeworth reappeared in the finale of this game, which left this scene feeling like complete bullshit. Yes, this may be my fault for playing the games out of order, but either way: fake death of Edgeworth for the sake of drama is fake and for the sake of drama." *ding

"Introduction to Psyche-Locks. AKA visualized witness interrogation that needed to be supernatural. For some reason." *not quite a sin, but really?

"No, seriously. What does spirit channeling have to do with ferreting secrets out of people? Why can't this be like Logic Chess and have Phoenix imagining the locks in his head?" *ding

"That said... I do love the music." *no sin

(Morgan rants about how Pearl is better than Maya) "Foreshadowing." *ding

(Mia appears, claiming Phoenix has learned how to stand on his own) "He really hasn't. Chronologically, the first case he wins without your help comes after this. And that case was stupidly easy, so what I'm saying is... were still in the trilogy. Don't leave us yet, Mia." *ding

"Related: spirit hides vital information from lawyer cliche (I would say origin, but that was Gregory Edgeworth). This is the case that convinced me Mia had a copyright on that move. I love Mia, but her own sister's life is on the line. Now is not the time to be testing Phoenix's mental ability or protecting her aunt." *ding

(In the courthouse) "Pearl ran a distance that is two miles by train to get here on time through wilderness and city, yet her clothes aren't even slightly dirty. Did she change upon getting over here?" *ding

"Also, Pearl is so awesome, she can perform physical feats that transcend logic. Normally, these are left to only the most badass of characters. Not that Pearl isn't, of course." *removes another sin for this girl

(The Pursuit-Cornered theme plays when Maya speaks of Edgeworth) "Nostalgia trip pulled a mere year after the first game came out. Isn't it a little early to be remembering 'the good ol' days' when your series is only on its second game? And I thought blatant nostalgia was the later games' problem." *ding

"Also, Maya way overhypes the events of Turnabout Sisters and Turnabout Samurai. The only trial that was 'a scorching battle to the end' was Turnabout Goodbyes. And I guess you can say Rise from the Ashes, but that case hasn't been made yet. Also, Maya wasn't there." *ding

"Maya is every player except me in the 'Phoenix tells her Edgeworth died between games' scene." *ding

"Franziska Von Karma." *removes a sin. Fight me on this

"That said... she took a whip into court and gets away with whipping the judge, defense attorney, and several witnesses. Yes, it's part of her character, but in our world, that's called assault." *ding

"Franziska says she can win a case in ten minutes, but her father supposedly could in three. She's got a long way to go before she's on his level." *ding

"Franziska says she can win a case in ten minutes, but it only takes her seven to corner Phoenix. Sure, she hasn't won yet (and won't), but she doesn't give herself enough credit." *ding

(Judge tells Phoenix not to intimidate Gumshoe despite Franziska being worse) "This bullshit." *ding

"Phoenix wonders why Maya always wears the same clothes, even though he does too. Phoenix, don't be a hypocrite." *ding

"If Franziska agrees that Maya was channeling a different person while murdering Dr. Grey, is there a reason that doesn't absolve Maya from taking blame? As far as we know, she was physically and spiritually another person at the time of the murder. If both prosecution and defense can accept that spirit channeling exists, what's the problem with claiming Mimi Miney was the killer? We'd be right, if for the wrong reasons." *ding

(Phoenix's argument for why the hole in the folding screen was eight inches off the ground) "This is disproved later, with the hole in the clothing box, but why couldn't the bullet have gone through at an angle? It could have been fired from Grey's height pointing slightly downwards and gone through the sleeve and then the folding screen no problem. Why does everyone just assume the gunshot was perfectly horizontal?" *ding

"Phoenix's argument about the distance is also pretty bullshit. This game has already established that gunpowder burns would only occur if the defendant was about two feet away (not quite right in our world (it actually varies by gun. Trust me, I'm Texan), but in this universe, I choose to just go with it). If she were any further away than that, it's fine. Franziska could still be right here so long as she doesn't claim they were on top of each other, and as of now, Phoenix can't prove Maya was any further than two feet away." *ding

(Lotta on the stand) "Franziska can't get witnesses to say their name cli- wait, wrong prosecutor." *ding

(Pearl channels Mia) "How did she get to the defense bench without being noticed? And why aren't her clothes cutting off all circulation? Why can't we look at her from the front view? Why does my last question feel so wrong (sure, it's an eight year old's body, but she's channeling her twenty-seven year old cousin, so it should be okay, right? Right?!)?" *ding

"Also, Mia ex machina." *ding

"Why does Franziska allow Phoenix to question Lotta again? This is what ultimately does her in, and she really has no reason to help Phoenix win. Does she feel like her victory would be cheapened by not letting him speak? Why foil her own revenge plot?" *ding

"Lotta took another photo that the prosecution seeks to hide... I won't say cliche, but this is the second time her presence in a case has built up to this, and she's only appeared twice. Is it not a little early in the series to be reusing material?" *ding

"This game makes fun of the idea that the defendant was killed by their supposed victim, but Spirit of Justice takes them seriously. And thus Turnabout Revolution was born." *ding

"I can believe Franziska got a photo of Mia in the detention center for this case, but I can't believe she got it at this angle. The camera in the visiting room is clearly mounted on the ceiling behind the defendants. To take a photo from angle shown here, one would have to hide directly behind Phoenix's chair. Is there a camera in the visiting room we don't know about, or did Franziska plant the extra camera on the off chance Maya channeled someone else just so she'd have ammunition for this very scenario? Either way, I'm suspicious of it." *ding

"First Franziska hides evidence from the court, then she shows them illegal evidence without actually submitting it. I'd be more mad about this than I am, but Phoenix basically does the same thing two games later, and faced the same number of consequences: zero. Of all the people I expected him to take inspiration from at that stage of his life, I would have not counted Franziska among them." *still a sin, though

"Mia reads Phoenix's every thought in this trial. I would have considered her more of a mentor than an assistant, but I guess she fits the bill." *ding

"Franziska threatens to punish Gumshoe if she's assigned a penalty. Considering the last Von Karma murdered his opposition lawyer over the same thing, shouldn't this be considered a concern? I know now she would never go through with it, but if you played the first game before coming here, it makes sense to be suspicious." *ding

(In the investigation) "Why are Phoenix and Franziska already on a first name basis in his head? They met yesterday, and in bad circumstances." *ding

"Pearl is the one who gave Phoenix the power to see Psyche-Locks, and it still takes her less than a day for her to end up on the wrong side of them. In other words, irony." *ding

(Morgan revenge ranting to a picture of Misty) "More foreshadowing." *ding

(Morgan says it takes 20 years for the village to declare a person dead) "Why this arbitrary timeframe? Why not just try to channel Misty on occasion, and declare her dead if it works? I understand why police have timeframes like this, but there's no reason for a village of mediums to." *ding

"I wonder what Morgan's robe says. Has anyone tried translating it?" *not a sin, just curiosity

((Talking to Miney) Phoenix: A- A Psyche-Lock!) "Two, actually." *ding

"Maya teases the possibility of a Hollywood movie. I would want this, but I have to ask first: is there any Hollywood movie inspired by a Japanese source that was done well? I have yet to see one." *ding

(The clothing box) "I just realized: that wasn't there the first time we entered the side room. Good attention to detail." *no sin

(Pearl broke the urn) "Eight year old can't spell a three letter name. I get she's being raised in a cult, but does she not receive any conventional education? If so, sin on her mother for educating Pearl so poorly." *ding

(The fake doctor Hotti) "This pervert." *ten sins

"Also, this pervert is running amok impersonating a doctor, and the nurse's response is to just leave him to it. Thanks, nurse." *ding

"That grabby hand gesture... are you sure I can't skip this scene? I can't? Dammit." *ding

"Lords of the Rings reference. Of all the characters they could have given it to, why the fuck did they choose this guy?" *ding

(Miney drops her persona to threaten Phoenix) "Finally. I'd be more impressed with her fake persona if it wasn't so goddamn annoying. Why would she impersonate her sister in such a way? Did she hate her?" *ding

(Mia's Psyche-Locks) "Why does Mia protect her aunt over her sister? I can believe not wanting to incriminate Morgan, but not at Maya's expense." *ding

(The second trial day) "Phoenix asks Pearl to channel Mia so she won't have to watch her mother go down as an accomplice. He's gotten a lot nicer to children since the last game." *no sin

"Franziska and Mia engage in rival's banter, which would be nice... if anyone else ever acknowledged Mia's presence during trials. I sure as fuck know Edgeworth didn't, and I don't think the judge even remembers she's dead." *ding

(Morgan on the stand) "Does Mia have bad blood with her aunt? It wouldn't surprise me the way Mia's acting, but it does make me curious. Especially considering she didn't want to accuse her aunt earlier. Unfortunately, this is never explained." *ding

"How long did it take Lotta and Phoenix to make a phone call? The manor is right across from the pay phone, and Morgan claims she was out for ten minutes. Sure, she's lying, but if Lotta and Phoenix weren't away for at least that long, they would have called her bullshit way sooner. So we're back to where we started: what were Phoenix and Lotta doing for over ten minutes?" *ding

(Miney relays what her "sister" told her) "Where have I seen these cutscenes before?" *ding

"Also, this cross examination. She's so dedicated to faking her stupidity, it's genuinely painful to sit through." *ding

"Did Phoenix bring the Sacred Urn with him to court? I have trouble believing the village let him do this, but both the Court Record and Phoenix himself make it sound like he has the real deal, and not just a picture. So how does this work, exactly?" *ding

(Miney reveals her true personality for longer than a second) "Finally. This may be the only culprit I find more pleasant post-transformation. I would remove a sin... If I didn't have to spend hours of gameplay talking to her fake persona already. I swear, this is the case's strongest weakness in my book." *ding

(The judge is about to end the trial when) "Yay, another Mia ex machina. That's really the reason she exists, right? Even in a case she's connected to personally, all she gets to do is act stricter and hide shit? Guess I have to wait until next game to see her as more than a trial lifeline." *ding

(Discussing the car accident) "Incident from x years ago is related to today cliche. In this case, only one year ago, but the core of the cliche remains." *ding

"Did Mia just whip Phoenix?" *ding

"Mimi Miney: Ace Car Nerd." *ding

"How could a nurse afford to import a sportscar? Did she have rich parents who died? A sugar daddy? A lucrative side job? Nurses don't make enough money for this shit, and it's never explained." *ding

(Ini is actually Mimi) "This twist is awesome." *removes a sin

(Franziska whips Phoenix to unconsciousness) "She gets away with this." *ding

"Here's a question that has yet to be answered about this case: if Morgan wanted to discredit Maya as an heir and Mimi wanted to hide the fact she was alive, why murder Grey at all? If those two did nothing, Maya would have failed at her first big channeling and just be seen as weak the way Morgan was. Grey wouldn't have gotten what he wanted, no, but he would probably would have blamed Maya, not thought Mimi was still alive. With Maya disgraced as a medium, Morgan can push Pearl forward as the rightful heir, getting what she wants without bloodshed. But hey: murder mystery's gotta murder mystery, yo." *ding

"Also, this is dark, but if Morgan really wanted to get rid of the main family and have Pearl take their place... she was their caretaker after Misty left, right? Couldn't she have just killed them in an accident years ago to get what she wanted? Or even just Maya, as Mia had already chosen to leave the village? If she's willing to resort to killing people now, why was she not willing to years ago? Why does it take her until the next game to gain the guts needed for her to kill Maya?" *ding

(Picture of Maya reuniting with Mia) "Awwwww..." *removes a sin

(Final scene with Morgan) "Foreshadowing for Bridge to the Turnabout. So far, this is the only foreshadowing done in one game that's resolved in another game. I wish I could count the bit about Thalassa telling Apollo she's his mom, but that thread hasn't been resolved yet." *ding

**Total Sin Tally: 101**

**Sentence: Hospitalization at Hotti Clinic (with the "director")**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N's: Sorry this took forever, folks. This case was my first experience with AA ever (watched it in a walkthrough years ago. My first game to play myself was AJ), and while it has a special place in my heart, it's not all that amazing as a case. The good things (Pearl, the twist) are too outweighed by the bad (particularly the pervert and Mimi's fake persona). And while I love Franziska as a character overall, I don't like her in this case. Her motivations make sense from her perspective, but the game would never tell you that. It fits into Phoenix's arc to think she's just a carbon copy of her father, but it does mean her character suffers in its first appearances.
> 
> Ah fuck, I have to do Big Top after this. (Groans) Would anyone be mad if I just skipped that case and did Farewell My Turnabout? I mean, I'm not going to, but it is something I considered.
> 
> Still, I hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading, don't forget to review, and I'll see you on the far side!


	3. Everything Wrong With: Turnabout Big Top

"This crowd is entirely too happy with a magic show that consists solely of a guy flying in the air, then disappearing. We later learn that Galactica is the main attraction of the circus, which makes this act all the more of a letdown. If I went to this circus for Galactica and saw  _that_ , I would want my money back." *ding

"Since when does it snow in Los Angeles?" *ding

(Max Galactica: The Greatest Magician) "I thought the Gramaryes were the greatest magicians of this universe. Chronologically, the flashback of Apollo Justice happens sixteen months after this case, so the two groups were likely performing around the same time, and as much as the Gramaryes were a bunch of assholes, I do have to agree that they were the better magicians. Sorry, Max." *ding

"TV news continues to report solely on what is pertinent to the game's characters at any given time." *ding

"Phoenix acts shocked that Maya wants him to take Galactica's case, but um... as far as we know, he hasn't defended anyone in four months. He should be relieved he'll be able to pay next month's rent." *ding

"Max Galactica." *three sins

"How are Maya and Phoenix able to pick cards through the glass?" *ding

(Galactica(/Billy Bob Johns) switches to talking like a country boy at the drop of a hat) "Unexpected character development. Wait, that's not a sin." *no sin

"Phoenix and Maya walked onto what they themselves said is a very small stage, and somehow failed to notice the tiger until it roared at them. Phoenix and Maya are unboservant." *ding

"Game confronts characters with a tiger, then goes to black screen just to fuck with us. Because you know, I _really_ thought Phoenix was going to die seventeen minutes into the third case." *ding

"Regina Berry." *another sin

"Phoenix confesses to finding a sixteen year old attractive. This escalates with later characters, but I would like to remind you all right now that the age of consent in California is eighteen. Wait two more years, you creeps!" *ding

"What does this game have against commas? I know I already sinned mistakes like this in the first case, but it has been twenty two minutes and I have counted at least ten missing commas in the dialogue box. Get with the grammar, localizers." *ding

(Talking with Gumshoe) "'Our killer could fly!' cliche origin." *ding

(Talking to Woodman) "This stuttering fucker." *five sins

"Also, Moe the Clown. I think Phoenix sums it up pretty well, when he briefly takes the role of basically every player ever at this point:

Phoenix: This is some Faustian nightmare..." *another five sins

"I refuse to sin Moe's jokes individually. Here is a blanket fifteen sins for the cover charge." *fifteen sins awarded 

("Do you know why I, Phoenix Wright, am a great lawyer? Because I'm Wright all the time!") "However, I will sin Phoenix's. Really? You're a regular sarcastic bastard whenever your text is in blue, but put it in white and this is the best you got? The fuck?" *ding

"Phoenix hates being Galactica's sweetie so very much..." *ding

"Galactica talks marriage with the sixteen year old daughter of his boss and no one thinks that's inappropriate." *ding

"Russell Berry approved of letting his teenage daughter marry a grown ass man who just that morning proved to be violent at the drop of a hat. Some father he is." *ding

"Woodman uses his puppet to insult people and sing pervy songs about sixteen year olds. What a _lovely_ cast of characters we have in this case." *ding

(Trilo references Taxi Driver (1976) and Moe later references Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (1990-1996)) "For a game that supposedly takes place in 2017, these references are pretty dated. Even by 2005 standards, actually." *ding

(Phoenix gets assaulted by a monkey) "...Anyone else want to take up sinning this case? No? (Under my breath) Goddamn it." *ding

"How did Money swipe an entire tuba? Or the bust, later? That never gets ex... nope, never mind. I don't need it explained. This case is long enough." *ding

"If you have to climb stairs to get to Acro's room, how does Acro get up here? Shouldn't he be given the room on the ground floor, all things considered? That's also never explained." *ding

(Maya says we don't have to worry because we have a magician on our side) "Yeah, try saying that two and four games later, Maya. Unless it's Trucy, that never ends well." *ding

(In the courthouse) "Galactica went to his own trial completely shirtless, and naturally, no one (not even the old man judge or uptight prosecutor) gives a shit." *ding

(Galactica suggests Phoenix flies into the courtroom from above) "Phoenix does not do this." *ding

(Trial begins) "Franziska insists that she won't lose this case, but... she clearly doesn't know her own development story. For those who are curious, I will summarize: originally, Takumi wanted Edgeworth to be the main rival again in the second game, but thought it would look bad if he lost to Phoenix too many times, so he created Franziska's character. She was _literally created_ to lose to Phoenix in the middle cases of this game. The more you know." *guess that's not really a sin. More of an interesting fact

"Gumshoe says Money stole his wristwatch, but we went up to see Money's hideout yesterday. There was no watch in that pile." *ding

"If the box only had pepper inside, why the fuck was it so heavy? What is the functional purpose of possessing a box that's heavy when  _empty_? And yes, I know what Acro uses it for, but why does the circus have it?" *ding

(Regarding Woodman and Trilo on the stand, Franziska says: "You won't get anywhere trying to figure out this witness!") "Is Franziska talking to the judge here, or the players? I can never be sure on this one." *ding

"Trilo's damage animation shows his head flying off, but in the next shot, it's already been reattached. How and why would anyone want to reassemble this puppet so quickly? Or at all?" *ding

"Judge also wants to propose to Regina. You're married with grandchildren, Your Honor! Why are all the male characters (save Gumshoe, Acro (who wants to murder her, not fuck her), and (surprisingly) Moe) creeps in this case?" *ding

(Discussing Trilo's ability or inability to marry Regina) "This goes on for some time." *ding

"Whose idea was it to give the puppet three separate testimonies? And  _why_?" *ding

"Phoenix fails at simple math." *ding

(Discussing Galactica clonking Woodman over the head) "So they admit that assault and battery are crimes in this universe, but various prosecutors can do as much whipping, mug throwing, and bead-squeezing as they want? Okay..." *ding

"The judge keeps fawning over how 'cute' Regina is, but um... has he even met her yet? She didn't come to the first day of trial, and the judge doesn't oversee investigations, so if he did see how 'cute' she was, when was it? That never gets explained." *ding

"Moe on the witness stand." *ding

"Cross-examining Moe the Clown. I understand wanting him off the stand as soon as possible, but why am _I_  punished for the witness's antics?" *ding

"Since when is Franziska allowed to give penalties? Why does Moe's damage animation include him reciting the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song? Why would anyone memorize the digits of pi? Why does  _nothing_  make sense in this case?" *ding

"Seventy five minute trial gameplay took four and a half hours in-game. That... feels about right." *ding

(Back to investigating) "Maya has no idea how the 'removable thumb' magic trick works, even at age eighteen. If this were Pearl, I might let it slide. Maya? No chance." *ding

(Franziska sent Gumshoe to hear Moe's life story) "Torturing Detective Gumshoe. He does _not_ get paid enough to deal with this bullshit." *ding

"How does Moe's hat change facial expressions?" *ding

"Galactica forces people to look at and worship his enormous bust on the daily. Because that's not pervertedly worded." *ding

"Also, Galactica's bust." *ding

(Franziska appears before Phoenix to discuss her motivations) "Why does Franziska come with a warning beacon attached to Gumshoe? I'm not denying its practical uses, but when would Gumshoe have received it? Why does he allow it to remain on her person? This is never explained." *ding

"Franziska calls the 'Edgeworth is still alive' plot point a case before such a point is relevant. One point for the Prosecuting Prodigy." *but it's an overly melodramatic plot point with almost no payoff, so still a sin

"Acro willingly tells his tragic life story to people he just met at the drop of a hat. I get he's supposed to be the 'sympathetic killer', but did the game have to hammer it in so hard this early? I can't even take a moment to appreciate the fact that he's the least annoying member of the cast in this case? Fine." *gives an obligatory sin

(Acro can't leave the third floor by himself) "But he still has a room on the third floor... Why again? I know I sinned this earlier, but is there any reason Moe hasn't at least offered to switch rooms with Acro? Is it for the plot convenience? I think it's for the plot convenience." *ding

"Also, game cheats by not introducing the murderer until the second day of investigation, making it literally impossible to guess the culprit early. And making it easier to guess after that, given that he was the only person to be introduced later. Given the greatness of this game's finale, you'd think some of that writing quality would diffuse to the rest of the game. And unfortunately, you'd be wrong." *ding

"Game gives us three variations of yes as options when confronted with the task of retrieving Regina's clothes. Why even give options if you're going to pull this bullshit?" *ding

(Regina doesn't realize that Acro gave her the note and posts it on the bulletin board) "Regina is an idiot." *ding

(The accident six months ago) "Incident from x years ago is related to today cliche. For the second time this game." *ding

(One of the options when confronting Money is to have Phoenix make monkey sounds) "...Okay, that's actually funny." *no sin

"Animals are filed under the Evidence section of the Court Record in this game, but in the Character section in Dual Destinies. Why does that change from 2002 to 2013?" *ding

(Bat also wanted to date Regina) "I thought this was sweet when I first played the game. Then I checked the profile and saw that Bat is currently twenty two. Sure, he might have been twenty one when the incident happened, but so is Galactica right now. Bat is also (essentially) her adoptive brother. One more time: why do none of these men think it's inappropriate to hit on a teenager?!" *three sins out of sheer frustration

(Second day of trial) "Regina says she has a glass of milk for Galactica, but she hands him a carton, and so does Moe. They do know those are not the same thing, right?" *ding

"Also, Moe pokes fun at how obvious the culprit is before the trial even starts. When even the characters are noticing how cut and dry their episode is, you done fucked up, Takumi. You done fucked up." *ding

"Why did Acro take the birds with him to court? Won't they just get their feathers and shit everywhere? I pity the janitor that cleans up after witnesses in this series, I really do." *ding

"Where is Acro's wheelchair in the picture of his bedroom? It's nowhere near his bed, but if that's the case, then how did he get into bed in the first place? How does he get up in the morning? This game answers none of the important questions." *ding

"Did Acro train that hummingbird to peck Phoenix?" *ding

"Why does Phoenix speak French for Franziska? He knows she's German." *ding

(Cloak got snagged on the bust) "Some bullshit." *ding

"Here's something that's been bothering me: why is the rope invisible in this crime? Was it one of Galactica's stage ropes? If so, why did Acro have it? If it was a normal rope, there's no way in hell that Moe didn't see it and realize something was weird, so... What the fuck is up with this bullshit? How badly did Takumi want a flying killer for his thrown-together circus case, anyway?" *ding

(Acro and Bat worked in the circus at ages nine and five, respectively) "Well that doesn't sound legal." *ding

"Three games before Dual Destinies, and we already have eighteen year old female attorneys trying to build a case on heartfelt emotions. Not what I would have expected out of Franziska, but an interesting tie-in nonetheless." *ding

"Murderer intended to kill someone else cliche, a la... Not gonna lie, the first thing I thought of was Legally Blonde when I got to this part of the case. But it's probably not a reference to that, so.. let's just go with murderer mystery fiction in general, shall we?" *ding

"Bottle of pepper looks suspiciously like the bottle of Coldkiller X from the next game. In both cases, a teenage girl if accused of using it to kill a man who had been in love with her. Coincidence?" *not a sin, just an observation

"I know manslaughter doesn't exist in this universe until 2028, but... If it did, could Regina be accused of it for what she did to Bat? Yes, she is responsible for what happened to him, but in no way did she intend any of it. And since Bat technically isn't dead, I would guess the most Acro could do legally is sue the circus for damages (which he would never do) or get the animal killed (which already happened).  _Or_  he could be rational and realize Regina is too sheltered to understand what she did and explain it to her, but no: planning an elaborate murder plot against the clueless sixteen year old and helping his coworker get framed for it was  _clearly_ the better option. Am... am I supposed to feel sympathy for assholes like this? Just because they aren't as obviously evil as other culprits? If so, I am going to get a lot of angry reviews when I sin the next game. (Sighs) I can see it now..." *five sins

(Franziska objects for the sake of objecting) "Frivolous Objection cliche. I get Franziska loves her brother, but did she have to copy  _all_  his moves?" *ding

(Maya saves the case at the last moment... By forcing Phoenix to pinpoint the location of the bust) "Maya pulls a discount Mia." *can't bring myself to sin it

(You have the option to accuse the judge of murder to receive a 95% penalty) "I'm not taking sins off for this, as the conversation is optional, but try this the next time you feel like torturing yourself with this case. The results are hilarious... so long as you have a full bar to start with." *no sin

"Why does the Reminiscence theme from Turnabout Samurai play at this moment? This case has its own Reminiscence theme! They were literally _just_ using it. I know the music in this game isn't as good, but that's no excuse to switch to the first game's three quarters of the way through." *ding

"Why does Acro give Franziska credit for catching him? She wanted to win with Galactica declared guilty." *ding

(Acro cries) "Sad scene and all, but it is utterly ruined by the creepy ass crying animation. His eyes look like they're glowing white. And yes, I am an asshole for sinning this." *ding

"Phoenix says Acro has no desire for revenge on Regina... After just proving in court that Acro wanted to murder Regina. And all I can think about is how sympathetic Acro would be seen as if he hit his intended target and actually killed a legal minor. If he didn't want to get caught for Bat's sake, he shouldn't have tried to murder the girl his brother was in love with (and, if the ringmaster had really adopted Acro and Bat as they implied, was also their adoptive sister, and... This got weird really quickly). I'm sorry. I genuinely feel nothing for this guy. If it makes his fans feel better-" *sin on the game  _and_  me

"Also, I know Moe says he is going to become the next ringmaster, but seeing as Regina is Russell Berry's daughter, shouldn't she inherit the family business? Was Moe a co-owner of the company? How does this work, legal- Ah, who cares? The case is over." *ding

(Edgeworth is revealed to have been pulling the strings behind the case the whole time) "I don't know how to feel about this scene. Does that mean Edgeworth was the one who ordered the surprise search and not Franziska? If so, why did Franziska claim responsibility for it? Is Edgeworth, someone the people who know him best believe to be dead, allowed to give Gumshoe orders on a case that isn't his? If he has been giving Gumshoe orders for at least a day, what was that first phone call like? How long has Gumshoe known Edgeworth is still alive? If he knew, why didn't he say anything to Phoenix or Franziska, both of whom clearly care about the guy and would love to know he's okay? Why does Edgeworth confide in Gumshoe, but not his sister? Did he ask Gumshoe to keep it a secret from everyone? If so, why? I'm happy to see Edgeworth, make no mistake, but I am genuinely too confused to remove a sin for this appearance." *so I add one instead

**Total Sin Tally: 107**

**Sentence: Mauled by Regent (while Moe performs a comedy routine)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N's: Well at least that's out of the way. I was originally going to give more sins than this, but a lot of them ended up being rant-y and repetitive, so I had to cut them out. Still surprised this review ended up being shorter than Reunion's. Maybe I just didn't have the energy to rant more than three thousand words' worth.
> 
> But on the bright side, I finally get to sin the sole reason people don't fully hate this game after this. I have to confess, it's been a while since a played Farewell, My Turnabout, and it is in my top three. Too bad the rest of the game didn't even come close to top ten. I hope you all are as excited as I am.
> 
> Thanks for reading, don't forget to review, and I'll see you on the far side!


	4. Everything Wrong With: Farewell, My Turnabout

"Finally, the case that makes purchasing the game worthwhile. Should I remove a sin for finally reaching this point, or add one for it taking so long?" *does nothing in the end

(The opening) "And with that asshole entrance of claiming the prize right as the spotlight centers on the Jammin' Ninja before jumping in front of everyone to obscure their faces, Matt Engarde's true character and personality are established long before we meet the actual guy." *removes a sin

"Even the announcer is a dick to the Jammin' Ninja." *ding

"Well, the Gatewater Hotel has gotten  _a lot_ fancier since the first game. How did they get so much renovation done in eighteen months?" *ding

"Also, wasn't it just a little over a year ago that the Steel Samurai was at the height of popularity? How has he already passed the baton on to the next generation? And if they are, what happened to the Pink Princess? Will Powers later says Jammin' Ninja lost to the Pink Princess last year, but that Grand Prix would have been held only a few months after Turnabout Samurai, meaning Pink Princess was just getting started. How did 'she' rise to fame so quickly? Is 'she' already off the air after a year? This superhero franchise is harder to keep track of than the MCU." *ding

"Pearl and Maya are jerks to Phoenix for liking a kids show. Good thing they never found out about Edgeworth's secret hobby." *ding

"The return of Wendy Oldbag." *five sins

"Also, Oldbag says Powers didn't get nominated last year, but last year, Pink Princess won the Grand Prix, so not only was Powers nominated, he  _won_  the goddamn thing. The only people who wouldn't know this are the people who didn't play the first game before coming here, so what's Oldbag's excuse?" *ding

"Also... I hate to linger on what is easily the worst aspect of a great case, but who gave Oldbag an astronaut costume? And  _why_?" *ding

"What did Phoenix do at lawyer camp? That never gets explained." *ding

(Pearl says Phoenix would walk over hot coals for Maya) "Well, burning bridge. Close enough, right?" *ding

(De Killer appears to "inform Maya of a phone call" with his sinister theme song playing) "Foreshadowing via song. Not a common use of foreshadowing in this series, but a variant nonetheless." *can't bring myself to sin it

"Does Gumshoe really not remember who Lotta is? They've met three times now, the first time on an extremely memorable case." *ding

"Does  _Pearl_  really not remember who Lotta is? The first time they met was on an extremely memorable case for Pearl that saw her mom taken away. I don't think Pearl would have forgotten that case so easily." *ding

"Gumshoe spends all that time keeping Lotta away from the crime scene... then abandons Lotta to the crime scene so he can talk with Phoenix and Pearl for several minutes. Seems logical." *ding

(Phoenix gets the transceiver from Powers) "Let's just talk bout Engarde's (De Killer's?) kidnapping plot for a second: the plan for De Killer to abduct Maya dressed like a bellboy is all fine and dandy, but how did he know Phoenix and Maya would be here? Powers is the one who invited them. Did Engarde suggest inviting the two of them to Powers? Did he overhear Powers's intention to invite his former lawyer and assistant? Was it coincidence? Either way, it's not explained, so it's a sin." *ding

(The first ransom call) "What is the banging that causes the scene to pixelate? It's great for dramatic effect, but it makes no logical sense." *ding

"Getting down to the nitty gritty of the kidnapping requires the screen to lose color." *ding

"Also, I know I've been ragging on the music in this game, but the Suspense/Pursuit theme they play in this scene is awesome. The perfect combination heart-racing and hopeless." *removes a sin

"Why can Maya only scream on cue? Is De Killer removing her gag at certain times for dramatic effect? How does this work, exactly?" *ding

"Phoenix is told to not talk to any cops, so naturally, his first instinct is to tell Gumshoe everything. I understand he's pretty stressed right now, but really?" *ding

(Gumshoe insists this kidnapping means Engarde is guilty) "Can we just take a moment to appreciate the fact that Gumshoe is 100% correct about a case for once? We're not even a half hour into this case, and he's already called it. One point for Scruffy Detective." *removes a sin due to the rarity of the occassion

(Scene from Maya's POV) "I love briefly playing as Maya as much as anyone, but the ransom call was already suspenseful enough the first time. Did we need to see it again?" *I'm not sinning, just asking

"Let's get my biggest problem with this case out of the way early: Why does Engarde (Or De Killer, if this was his plan) feel the need to have Phoenix as his lawyer so strongly that he holds Maya for ransom? First of all, the game was already trending towards us taking Engarde as a client without Maya's kidnapping, and Engarde convinces Phoenix he's innocent easily enough regardless. If Ron Delite in the next game is able to fool Phoenix about being a criminal (despite admitting to his actual crime from the beginning, and Phoenix really only pressing on out of his lawyerly faith), Engarde would have been able to as well.

"Second of all, even if he didn't get Phoenix, why does he want Phoenix so badly in the first place? We know from the first game that people like Hammond exist in this world, who don't care about the truth of a case when they seek out a verdict. Heck, AJ even gives us Kristoph Gavin, a defense attorney every bit as amoral as Manfred Von Karma, and good at it to boot. It's implied that he's also practicing at this time, so why couldn't he have been Engarde's lawyer? He would have loved the exposure the case would bring him. Why go for the  _one_  defense attorney with strong morals when Engarde could have someone with equal or better skill who couldn't give two shits that he's actually guity? Why does he want the  _one_  attorney around right now (that we know of) who cares about that stuff? This plot could have been a lot more awesome if it wasn't so easily avoided." *ding

"Pearl says Maya is all she has left in this world... until the next game, when it's revealed she's had a half-sister living at Hazukara all this time that no one knew about. I swear, this family tree gets bigger with every game." *ding

(Engarde mistakes Phoenix for various salespeople) "Engarde acts like an idiot for no discernable benefit." *ding

"Also, Matt Engarde." *only one sin for pre-reveal

"Wrist phones. I guess they're this universe's version of smartwatches?" *ding

"Why does Engarde act surprised to hear the name De Killer? Are you telling me he didn't recognize Phoenix as the lawyer he wanted to represent him until this very moment?" *ding

(The Magatama test) "Wonderful twist setup. The devil is truly in the details, isn't it?" *removes a sin

"Oldbag simultaneously thinks she's in Turnabout Samurai again while not remembering  _any_  of the events of that episode. How is that possible? And does that mean we can accuse her of being the killer again? No? ...Dammit." *ding

"Also, game tasks us with finding the true killer in a case where the witnesses are seventy-five percent recurring characters from the previous game. I understand the true twists of the case lie elsewhere, but this makes the player suspect Andrews without even thinking about it, lowering the possible suspect list from five to two (four to one if you want to discount Engarde for the time being) for the entire case. And I thought the later games had a problem with recurring characters." *ding

(Lotta got her camera's price reduced from $1,600 to $700 after five hours of haggling/camera scratching) "Lotta's haggling game is on point. Go Lotta!" *not really a sin

(In Corrida's room) "This guy's bear fetish." *ding

(Meeting Adrian Andrews) "Why is Andrews the only one who ever comments on Phoenix bringing an eight year old to murder scenes and trials (Engarde comments on her coming to the detention center specifically, but that's it)? I mean, good on her for noticing, but sin on everyone else." *ding

"The requirement for being a character in this case was that you had to have Psyche-Locks on your secrets at any given time. Calling the theory now." *ding

(The various Samurais) "Did someone whip out a periodic table while naming these characters? Is Steel Samurai the love child between Iron Samurai and the Carbon Magistrate? I swear, the only characters with worse names than our universe's superheroes are fictional universe's superheroes. And that isn't even getting into the other superheroes who were at this competition in the opening." *ding

(The Nickel Samurai's villain is the evil Strawberry Clan) "Just... apply my earlier sin to villains, would you? This is almost as stupid as the Underminer." *ding

"They play the Steel Samurai theme for the Jammin' Ninja. Considering this guy's music obsession, you would think he'd get a track or two of his own, and apparently, you'd be wrong." *ding

(The Suspense music plays for Franziska) "Franziska uses her whip more times in her first minute onscreen in the finale than she did in the entire previous case. I guess she knew ahead of time she wouldn't end up prosecuting this one and had to get a few licks in before being shot?" *sin on me for joking about that

"Also, Franziska swears on her family's honor that this case will be won by the prosecution, and while she is right... isn't her family's honor more than a little tarnished at this point, with everything her father did and her recent losses? I don't think this means as much as she thinks it does." *ding

(Franziska gives Phoenix the autograph from Corrida to (apparently) Oldbag) "Why does Franziska help us on this front? That's never explained." *ding

(Oldbag's four locks break with one piece of evidence) "Best. Psychelock segment. Ever." *no sin

"Oldbag also calls this case almost completely correctly (with a few mixed up details) for the only time in this series. I hate to say it, but go annoying grandma." *still no sin

(At Criminal Affairs) "That creepy looking Blue Badger in the background, three years before Rise from the Ashes was a case. Are we sure that isn't the Proto Badger?" *ding

(Celeste's suicide is mentioned for the first time) "Incident from x years ago is related to today cliche for the third time in as many episodes. And just like last game, this warrants a total of three sins. Get another cliche to abuse, would you?" *three sins awarded

"If Franziska is so tired of Gumshoe helping the defense, is there a reason she can't get another detective on the case? Aside from Economy Casting, I mean? I mean, yeah, she gets him fired later, but why not put someone else on the investigating team to replace him? Detective Badd isn't in prison yet. (He also doesn't exist yet, but you get my point.)" *ding

(Edgeworth appears) "How did Edgeworth sneak into Criminal Affairs without being noticed? Everyone in this room (save Gumshoe) thinks he killed himself, and he's not exactly inconspicuous in appearance." *ding

"Also, (exaggerated gasp) you mean one of the four characters on this game's cover art is  _actually in the game?_  What a groundbreaking plot twist!" *ding

"All that said... it's still Miles Edgeworth." *removes five sins

"The Great Revival plays for the first time in this entire series." *removes another sin

"Franziska encounters her brother, who's apparently back from the dead, and her first instinct is to lecture him for soiled reputations. Some sister she is." *ding

"Edgeworth sees his sister again for the first time in about a year after convincing her he died, and his first instinct is to mock her for losing cases. Some relationship these two have. Not to mention, she wouldn't have even lost the second time if Edgeworth hadn't intervened, but I digress." *ding

"Franziska says she'll never hand this case over to Edgeworth, despite the fact that... I get the sense Franziska is one of the least genre savvy characters in the series. Sure, I'm used to the self-awareness of later games, but even so. Does she have no sense of plot?

"Contrast that with Miles Edgeworth in this case, who spends this entire scene foreshadowing later portions of the case. He is far more accepting of his role in a greater narrative than Franziska. I guess he got to have a long chat with the scriptwriter on his year off?" *ding

"Phoenix  _knows_  he's on a tight schedule to investigate the case and only gets one day from De Killer to prove Engarde innocent, but decides  _now_  is the time to have a long philosophical chat about personal motivations regardless. Now  _I_  know these thematic elements are important to the plot later, but there's no way Phoenix did. Unless he too got to have a long chat with the scriptwriter, that is." *ding

"Game forces you to go to locations you can do nothing at in order to drive the game forward. You also receive part of a report from Edgeworth, but have to present the report he just gave you to him in order to get the second piece. Why does the game do that?" *ding

"Also, Edgeworth just casually outs Andrews for having codependency issues like it's no big deal. Fuck people's right to privacy." *ding

" _Also_  also... they have this conversation in front of an eight year old the day after she watched her cousin get kidnapped. Edgeworth and Phoenix are a dicks to Pearl. Eight years old is too young to learn about suicide, goddammit!" *ding

(Franziska reveals planting the beacon on Gumshoe) "That... doesn't sound legal." *ding

(Breaking Andrews's Psyche Locks) "Eleven years before Athena Cykes is a character in this series, and we already have a lawyer performing therapy sessions on witnesses to get them to reveal information." *ding

(Getting through a locked door as Maya) "Cliffhangers." *too tense to remove a sin

"De Killer's idea of a 'present' is to shoot the prosecutor in charge of the case. I guess he knew how many fangirls Edgeworth had and wanted to make sure that guy got the finale?" *ding

"Also, Franziska receives the Von Karma badge of dishonor after being somewhat humiliated by a persistent defense attorney, in the form of a gunshot wound to the shoulder. I imagine it will cause her the same amount of problems in her day to day life as it did her father. That is to say, absolutely none." *ding

"Miles Edgeworth on the prosecutor's bench." *removes a sin

(Edgeworth claims to understand why Gumshoe was fired and threatens his pension) "Edgeworth threatens to pull a McCabe on Gumshoe. Not cool, man." *ding

"Also, Gumshoe's been fired as the detective for this case, but he still testifies in court on behalf of the police department... why again?" *ding

(Edgeworth offers Phoenix one last chance to present evidence) "Why is Edgeworth helping us? He's right on the money in this case, and he doesn't yet know about Maya's situation, so what gives?" *ding

"Game whips out the 100% penalty a mere twenty three minutes into the first trial. They are not fucking around in this finale, are they?" *not really a sin

"Phoenix spends any time at all thinking about whether or not he will bluff about something." *ding

"Edgeworth strikes Phoenix down in twenty seconds flat, but still stalls for time for no apparent reason. I understand this game has to be winnable, but I would prefer winning on my merit as a player, not solely because the plot demands it." *ding

"Also, it means Edgeworth is willingly submitting both us and himself to the torture of Wendy Oldbag. Not cool, man." *ding

"Edgeworth can't get witnesses to say their witnesses to say their name cliche." *ding

"Also, the Wicked Witch of the Witness Stand. That's it, I'm using that nickname from here on out. Thanks, Edgeworth." *ding

"Oldbag calls His Honor 'gramps', but aren't they at least the same age? She might even be older than him, but I don't actually know, because the game doesn't provide ages for either character." *ding

"Oldbag confesses to having sabotaged hotel property for the sake of harming Engarde. Naturally, these actions lead to no consequences whatsoever." *ding

("Oh, what I wouldn't give to have Franziska's whip right about now...") "You and me both, pal. Am I the only one who thinks it would have been hilarious to see this scenario play out with Franziska on the bench? She's opposed to whipping children, but if her treatment of the judge is any indication, that courtesy does not extend to old people. Oldbag would be furious." *ding

(Oldbag's rant on clothing is... actually pretty funny) "Remove a sin? For Oldbag? Of course I wouldn't do such a thing." *a sin magically disappears from the sin count without my knowledge

"Oldbag's singing." *ding

"Phoenix wants to burn Oldbag in a fire? I hate her too, but surely there's a more efficient way to get rid of her. She'd scream the whole time if he did this." *ding

"Oldbag was hanging around Corrida's room for the sole purpose of attempting to jump Andrews. Much as I'd pay to see that-" *ding

"Oldbag also confesses to thievery on the witness stand. These actions bear no consequences whatsoever." *ding

(Edgeworth helps Phoenix in continuing the day's trial) "Just... see my sins from above, will you? He doesn't even learn about Maya's situation until later this trial day, so that excuse is out the window. What reason does he have for doing this besides plot?" *ding

(Andrews on the stand) "Edgeworth gives Phoenix a lesson in English grammar. I  _did_  notice fewer typos when he returned as a character..." *ding

"Andrew's pants do not match her shirt. You'd think a woman as careful as her would be sure to wear clothes that go together, and apparently, you'd be wrong. And yes, I really am sinning a character on their fashion sense." *ding

(Andrews's glasses break when she takes damage) "How do glass shards not get in her eyes? Does she have infinite spare pairs of glasses on hand? First of all, that's crazy expensive. Second of all, what the fuck?" *ding

(Phoenix proves Andrews framed Engarde, and she pleads the fifth) "Does Japan have an equivalent to the Fifth Amendment? If not, how did this scene go down in the Japanese version? And how does Phoenix have no idea the amendment exists? He's a lawyer  _and_ an American citizen. He should know these things." *ding

(Edgeworth reveals Andrews's mental health struggles to the court to force her hand) "I understand why Edgeworth does this, but seeing as  _he's_  the one questioning  _Phoenix's_  morality in how he blindly pursues his goals and demonizes the other side, it feels a little hypocritical for him to resort to blackmail for the same reason. Edgeworth just came back from faking an apparent suicide. He of all people should be more sensitive to those who might 'choose death'. But similar to what I said in the Turnabout Trump review, I can't think of another way for Edgeworth to accomplish what he does and, well, he  _is_ right about the case for once. I truly think that the way the game presents the scenario that it was a necessary evil. Still an asshole move, but in a case riddled with moral quandaries, I only give it one sin." *ding

(The trial gets a second day, giving the gavel a new sound effect and lots of fades between black screen) "Phoenix's new sprite is so perfectly hopeless looking that it really gets to you the first time you play the case. Even on subsequent playthroughs, to an extent." *removes a sin

"How is Edgeworth just noticing the calling card? Andrews has been on the stand for over forty minutes our time, which is probably two or three hours in their world. Even after his revival, Edgeworth remains to be unobservant as fuck." *ding

(Back in the office with Pearl) "So was Pearl channeling Mia for almost eight hours? When Maya couldn't even do it for one in the first game? Wow..." *not a sin

(Gumshoe volunteers to work for Phoenix after he gets fired) "Dick Gumshoe: Ace Attorney is not a game that exists." *ding

(The return of "Hotti") "But speaking of things that exist... There's still this guy." *three sins

(Franziska is standing and walking around normally about eight-nine hours after being shot) "...How?! Did she inherit her father's bullet-related genetics? This didn't make sense in the first game, and it still doesn't make sense in this one." *ding

("The end justifies the means, Mr. Phoenix Wright. The end justifies the means.") "Not this shit agai- wait. Dual Destinies came out eleven years after this game, didn't it?" *ding

(We get back to Maya) "Maya says she's never used a computer before... in March 2018." *ding

"Who uses VCR in this day and age? Are we sure this isn't 1998?" *ding

(Oldbag references Lord of the Rings) *ding

"Phoenix can identify Oldbag's perfume by name. _Why_  can he do that?" *ding

(We meet Shoe) "Dammit. They had to make the cat adorable, too." *removes a sin

"Hey, did we ever actually feed Shoe? I need closure for Shoe, goddammit!" *ding

"Does Phoenix really not recognize De Killer as the bellboy from earlier? Could we really have averted the second half of this case if Phoenix were better with faces? Faces that have a zipper like scar down the middle? (sigh)" *two sins

"Phoenix is not at all suspicious that De Killer introduces himself as John Doe. I know Edgeworth has the same problem in AAI2, but that doesn't make this any less sinworthy." *ding

"Also, can he not hear the theme music?" *last sin about this moment, I promise

(Wait, I lied) "Also, 'butler did it' cliche. De Killer is really just disguised as a butler, but the core of the cliche remains." *okay. That's the last one

(Phoenix uses zoinks in reference to Oldbag) "Scooby Doo references." *ding

"The clock says it's already eight pm, but the outside of the office is still a light blue. They couldn't have shown it getting darker for one scene?" *ding

"Same goes for Corrida's room. It looks like midday through the windows there." *ding

"Gumshoe had the ability to construct fully functioning bug sweepers in elementary school, but still spends his days bumbling as a low wage detective. I think he missed his calling." *ding

"Why would Engarde buy the rarest, most expensive bear possible to hide his camera in? He has no reason to do so, and the whole business of filming De Killer is ultimately what does him in. Culprit foils his own plot for one of the weirdest and most ridiculous of reasons." *ding

(Edgeworth carries the giant bear out of the hotel room by himself) "Game does not give us a picture of this." *ding

"This idea of the Magatama being caught on a technicality is a  _great_  plot point. So naturally, none of the other games ever touch on it. They're willing to copy  _every_  other aspect of this case, but not this part? I don't know which game I'm sinning here, but it's a sin nonetheless." *ding

"Hey, Will Powers is back! Not gonna lie, I kinda forgot he was in this case." *ding

(Engarde's five Psyche Locks) "They don't even  _try_  to line up the locks with the chains here. For such a serious part of the game, you'd think the visual people would have put in a little more effort, you know? This looks like something out of the first three cases right here." *ding

"Are people allowed to order pizza in prison? I know AAI2 hasn't been written yet, but I thought food wasn't allowed in the detention center." *ding 90

"Pearl has never eaten pizza?! What sort of nonsense is that?" *ding

(Cracking Engarde's Psyche Locks) "Engarde spends almost four thousand dollars on toothbrushes?! What a waste!" *ding

"Also, Engarde supports the ivory market. Elephant hater." *ding

(Engarde's transformation) "How did this asshole get a glass of brandy in prison? And are you telling me not one member of the public has ever seen his telltale evil scars? What even are those claw marks anyway? Did he also fight a bear? A lion? A tiger? Shoe?!" *despite my best efforts to crack jokes about this, this scene made me shit myself the first time I experienced it. So... only five sins for this asshole

"When did Engarde grow vampire fangs? I'm pretty sure he didn't have those earlier." *ding

"Was Edgeworth eavesdropping the whole time?" *ding

(Phoenix has a crisis of conscience) "This case is  _great_  at getting Phoenix to question his methods and learn to not trust in his clients and point of view blindly. So naturally, he completely reverts back to his old self in later games (save AJ, which had its own ideas for Phoenix) as though this case never happened. I gotta say, I would like this case more than I do if it actually had a lasting impact on the series." *ding

"The name label on the text box lists de Killer's name with a lowercase 'd', but the textbox itself gives his name the uppercase 'D'. So... which way is right? Until this game tells me, I will assume the two are interchangeable." *ding

"Why would De Killer be stupid enough to hide his hostage in his own client's mansion? I thought he was supposed to be competent. Maybe he's just a better assassin than he is kidnapper? This is never explained." *ding

"Phoenix and Edgeworth break the door down, but when they enter the next room, it's already back on its hinges. Why did they waste time putting the door back on?" *ding

(Maya writes that "If you get that creepy slimebag a not guilty, I'll never forgive you, ever!") "'Unless he also dated my sister way back when and killed my mother in an elaborate scheme to 'protect' me. Then he deserves to get away with it.' Not a sin on this game (I actually liked this part from Maya), but a sin nonetheless." *ding

"Phoenix's nightmare reused from the first case. But this time, it actually means shit. Why didn't they save it for this case, then?" *ding

"Why did they let Engarde bring his brandy to court? Is he gonna make like Bucky and be drunk for his own- wait, Spirit of Justice came after this game by fourteen years, didn't it?" *ding

(Powers says "Every time you do your lawyer thing, the witness suddenly turns into the bad guy" on the stand) "Powers knows what's up. Even though he was our past client, and the only person who can get past 'clients' as culprits is Edgeworth, he's right to be concerned." *no sin

"The 'press one statement and then another to get ahead' is a great trick to use in cross examinations. So naturally- wait, this was used outside of the first game? How did I forget about this?" *sin on me

"Phoenix admits to not getting paid for most his work, so how does he afford rent, food,or anything of that nature?" *ding

"Can we just take a moment to appreciate the fact that Powers never once tried to lie in his testimony? Why can't more witnesses be like him?" *no sin, just praise

("But there really, really is!" "There really, really isn't!") "(Singing) I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want. So tell me what you want, what you really, really- I'm sorry." *ding

("So? A baseball has stitches! Are you saying all baseballs are suspicious because they have stitches!?" and "So? A football has leather. Are you saying all footballs are suspicious because they're made of leather!?") "Phoenix's sports metaphors." *ding

"Overuse of the Investigation: Core theme. In the middle of court, no less." *ding

(Phoenix says the one who accepted the bear may have been Andrews) "I know Phoenix is just stalling for time here, but why does his point stand for more than five seconds? The timeline itself proves he's wrong. De Killer gave the bear to Engarde directly after the murder. Andrews didn't don the Nickel Samurai costume until she found the body and chose to frame Engarde, which was after De Killer left. Edgeworth  _can_  discount the possibility right now. He just chooses not to even before agreeing to play along with Phoenix and Gumshoe. For some reason." *ding

"His Honor tells the gallery that hecklers will be forced to leave, but in Spirit of Justice, they get away with anything and everything. Why did the rules change from 2018 to 2028 in this series?" *ding

"Wait, so Maya called Mia's spirit away from Pearl? Who's the more powerful medium here, again? This piece pf plebotinum never fails to confuse me." *ding

"Also, the Berry Big Circus is still in town? After three months? Don't most circuses travel throughout the year?" *ding

(Andrews opens the bear figurine) "So where was Corrida hiding Inpax's note before he got the bear? Why would he hide it in a place he knew Andrews could get into? Didn't he know she wanted to burn it? This is never explained." *ding

"Game has the judge read the suicide note, but we never actually learn what it said. Phoenix just summarizes the note for us. All this for a brief summary of shit we already knew?!" *ding

"Co-counsel is vague to put pressure on the player cliche. Why does Mia pull this shit at a time like this? Now is not the time to teach Phoenix a lesson. Now is the time to keep the trial running until Maya is found. Unless Mia is also wasting time, and her vagueness is her pulling a bluff game comparable to any of Phoenix's stunts. That would make a lot of sense, actua- I just talked myself out of a sin, didn't I? Dammit." *no sin

(The gallery is all chanting guilty) "Well I think I know which game Yamakazi played when coming up with Spirit of Justice. Even Takumi with DGS, to an extent in the Jury System." *ding

"Phoenix throws his phone across the courtroom to Edgeworth. Because you know, walking or running over there to hand it to him is so much work." *ding

"Game does the dramatic 'pan between characters to find out who interjected' even when the clip is voiced and we know exactly who did the interjecting. So why does the game still go through this? I don't think this is the only game I've complained about this in. They need to stop doing that." *ding

"Gumshoe talks on the phone and runs red lights in an effort to get stolen evidence to court on time. I understand these are special circumstances, but don't try this at home, kids. Is it any wonder he gets into a crash?" *sin on me for joking about this

(Shelley de Killer on the stand via walkie talkie, and Phoenix says "The defense has no objections to this person!") "Well, that's a first." *ding

"De Killer is a troll on the witness stand. It'd be funny in lighter circumstances, but in this case, it's downright sinworthy." *ding

(De Killer's second testimony session) "In the end, the move that does Engarde in after all his well laid plans and Phoenix's efforts and saves Andrews's life... is the fact that De Killer never bothered to learn the true gender of Adrian Andrews. If she didn't have a gender neutral name (or any of the characters in the courtroom happened to mention it before De Killer slipped up), she would have been fucked." *ding

"How does the speaker on the walkie talkie change sizes and rock from side to side when De Killer talks? Even sweating oil when the witness gets nervous? In what factory can I buy semi-animate devices like this? Is this the same place that built the toys in Toy Story? Because I am _down_  for that crossover." *ding

"Why does the judge think Phoenix wants him dead? If anything, Phoenix should like him for presiding over all his cases and allowing all this crazy bullshit to happen. You think Judge Courtney would have been down for even  _half_  of this?" *ding

(De Killer offers to let Phoenix become his successor) "Phoenix Wright: Ace Assassin did not make it into the final version of the game." *ding

"Why does Phoenix refer to himself as a doctor? He went to law school, not medical school." *ding

"I know Phoenix doesn't want to let Engarde go free, but if he really cares about finding the truth and not letting Adrian take the blame as an innocent, what's stopping him from taking her case after this trial is over? As we see in the next game, he has no problem proving someone innocent of a crime he just blamed them for (and vice versa), so really, it's possible for everyone to go free. No, this doesn't solve the moral dilemma, but it is a third option that no one seems to realize exists." *ding

(The trial is about to end for the fifth time today when-) "Oh yeah. Go Franziska! This will probably be the only time I ever remove a sin for Franziska whipping someone, and because the occasion is so rare-" *I choose to remove two sins

(Mia tells Phoenix what the final present is) "Mia ex machina. Less so than, say, Turnabout Goodbyes, but she's still the one who comes up with how to beat the game and not Phoenix. Up until now, she's only been in an advising/spirit messenger sort of role, both of which I'm okay with. But she had to ruin it when the case almost over, so sin." *ding

(Phoenix convinces de Killer to turn on Engarde) "This final present, the final way out, is  _awesome_. I have no qualms removing several sins for this." *removes seven sins

(Engarde's breakdown) "Well. The new actor for Scarface certainly looks promising." *removes eight more sins for a total of fifteen

(Franziska was put in charge of incarcerating Engarde and is implied to be whipping him heavily) "Torture of prisoners. I can't say I'm too mad about it in this case, but-" *still a sin

"Andrews thanks Edgeworth for invading her privacy and outing her as mentally ill in a public trial. That... has some unfortunate implications." *Sorry, Edgeworth, but that's still a sin

"Phoenix and Edgeworth take great pains to explain the moral of this story to the pla- I mean, Franziska. Because you know, there's  _no way_  we could have gotten it one our own." *can't bring myself to sin it

(The picture of Phoenix and Pearl reuniting with Maya) "Awwww..." *removes a sin

(Maya, Lotta, et al. make Phoenix pay for all their shit) "Game spends five minutes appreciating Phoenix's efforts throughout the case, then go back to using him as a butt monkey. Ungrateful jerks." *ding

"While the credits are playing, let me take a moment to switch over to the bad ending. It's a great bad ending, the best of the series, but I have four words I need to sin for the original English version of this game. Just four words:

'The miracle never happen.'" *ding

(In the credits, Andrews says Franziska promised to help her with "anything at all" upon release) "Steps toward redemption. And from the way T&T makes it sound, the start of a beautiful relationship." *removes a sin

(Post credits scene with Edgeworth and Franziska) "This leads to a great scene and all, but why would Franziska take Gumshoe's coat with her back to Germany? Even when she  _knows_ it's bugged. Did she secretly want Edgeworth to find her and stop her? That... might actually be possible." *not quite a sin

"Whose idea was it to make Franziska adorable when crying? Who gave them the right to play with my heart like this?" *removes a sin through the tears

"Also, whoever decided to add this insight into Franziska's character by giving her this scene... God bless that person on this holy day." *removes another sin

"However... I don't why everyone makes a big deal about T&T letting you play as Edgeworth, or someone other than Phoenix in general. The first case to employ that was this case, after all." *not a sin, just a comment

"Franziska says she kept the card with Maya's drawing so she can give it back to Phoenix later, but when she sees Phoenix again in T&T, it's never mentioned again. ...But I really don't want to end this review on a sin, so-" *I do nothing

**Total Sin Tally: 114**

**Sentence: Protecting Engarde from an Angry Assassin**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N's: So I didn't realize the events for this happened a little over a week ago (March 18-23, 2018), or else I would have tried harder to get this out earlier. Even so, Happy Easter/April Fool's Day! Not gonna lie, I also briefly considered posting an author's note pretending to be a review as an April Fool's joke. Then I decided i would rather actually finish this thing once and for all.
> 
> Obviously, the next game on the list is Trials and Tribulations. But I don't know when I'll have that up, because April is a Camp NaNo month and otherwise busy time for me, so any writing work I do will be directed at either AAI3 (which has a new chapter halfway written) or my Camp NaNo project: my first novel length Star Wars fanfiction! Whoo boy am I excited. That's what I'm gonna start writing as soon as I'm finished here.
> 
> But even though this case got barely more sins than Turnabout Goodbyes (114 to 103), JFA is still the game to accrue the fewest number of sins so far, with 374 sins total. That's less than half of DD or SoJ (though those games had six (arguably seven for SoJ, if you separate the two parts of the finale), and this case had four. RftA put the first game over the edge, leading to it scoring 389 sins total and AJ (which also had four(ish) cases) got 509, if I remember correctly. Remember: lack of sins doesn't mean I love the game. It's a better indicator of length than quality.
> 
> Still, I hope you enjoyed, thanks for coming on this journey with me, please review, and I'll see you on the far side!


End file.
